End of Oppy, Lets Get Sloppy!

This past Friday saw the official end to Operation Nunalivut here in Alert which had ballooned station residency numbers to the metropolistic size of 250. Not knowing exactly what the goals of the Op were nor caring much about them, I'll instead go over what it meant to us local yolkels. As residence quarters were maximized inside the station, a large number of cots were set up in the gym preventing its use for our usual 3 games of floor hockey a week, restricting our use of the weight room to 8 AM to 8 PM and filling the gym with an odour one can only describe as "wtf is that smell?".

As the station barber I saw a dramatic increase in demand for haircuts with line ups forming before I even opened the shop. This would become problematic as my habit of not waking up until someone phones me to open the shop on Sunday would soon catch up with me.

The operation also presented an opportunity to create some friendly rivalry between locals and personnel from the Op via sporting activities. Originally I had planned to organize several activities spread throughout the month pinning Alert vs. Op Nunalivut. However, once everyone had landed and we were able to get in touch with Op command, we were told they would be available for only 1 day out of the month for activities. Making the most of a bad situation, the MP designated the Sports Rep for the Op and myself came up with some activities to fill the afternoon.

First up, were the Inuit Games. Led by an Inuit Ranger from the Op and assisted by some of the local Inuit boys on station, Alert and Op contestants were pitted against each other in feats of strength and flexibility including finger pull, arm pull and high kick. In all events it appeared as though it would be no contest for Team Alert as we dominated the Op in each activity with our local champion Jamie winning the all-Alert final rounds.

Next was the Alert Puzzle Race. Teams of 2 were given 5 locations throughout the station where a group of letters could be found. The goal was to obtain these letters from all locations and then meet in the Wolfs Den to solve the puzzle by re-arranging the letters into a word which is the same in both French and English. Along with Sabrina, I raced to each location and grabbed the letters, putting my Scrabble skills to use as I saw each new letter. Unfortunately, it was a requirement that both partners be present at the Wolfs Den before the puzzle could be solved. As Sabrina's leg span and smoke-riddled lungs were no match for my own I found myself in the room with 2 other teams, puzzle already solved in my head, waiting for her to arrive. Just in the knick of time, when it appeared as though another team would solve the puzzle, Sabrina arrived and I quickly laid out the letters forming the word "PERFORMANCE". This gave Team Alert its second victory in as many activities over Team Op.

Next up was an impromptu game of soccer as conditions proved a little too windy for the scheduled match of Ultimate (wikipedia informed me that it is no longer called ultimate frisbee due to legal issues raised by the Frisbee company...who knew?). Things started off well for team Alert, jumping off to a quick 3 nothing lead in the first half. However Team Op would bounce back with 3 goals of their own followed by an exchange of goals in the final minutes of the game. With seconds left in extra time I was the perpetrator of a devasting own goal while attempting a clear attempt in the slick snow, resulting in a 5 to 4 come from behind victory for Team Op.

After dinner was the marquee event of the day, a snow hockey game outside where we had played soccer earlier. Looking to add some pizazz to the event, I recruited Dave and Justin to aid me in using food colouring to paint hockey lines. Like the best laid plans of mice and men, however, this plan went awry as shortly after the lines were completed it started to snow. By the time it was game-time snow had completely covered all markings thus proving my efforts futile. Despite the wasted time in preparation the game was a success with Team Alert taking game 1 and team Op taking the second. Due to unanimous exhaustion and time restraints before the final activity of the day, the match was declared a draw.

The final event was the weekly Pool tournament, open to members of the operation. In my exhausted state I saw to it that I was quickly eliminated in the tournament and returned to my room for an early rest. I'm not sure who ended up winning to be honest. In any case the activities were well received and the most was made of a limited time-frame.

Another bright spot of the Op was the arrival of the Danish Snow Dog team, an elite group of military personnel from the Netherlands tasked with maintaining the sovereignty of Greenland. Unlike the comfy operation which we have here in Alert this team of 16 goes on 2 year tours at a time travelling by dog-sled in teams of 2 with the goal of visiting all outposts placed along the eastern coast, each one being visited once every 5 to 10 years.

The dogs made for terriffic company as many members of the station paid them a visit at their luxurious quarters outside the station in the bitter cold. After feeling how thick the fur of the dogs was it came as little surprise that they were able to withstand the brutal climate of the Arctic.

As I mentioned earlier the Op finally came to an end this past Friday and to celebrate we organized a Pyjama Party-themed TGIF. Activities at the momentous occassion included Slipper Toss, Feed the CO, Bathroom Relay and of course, Pin the Kokanee on the SWO. Needless to say good times were had by all as members of the station heavily affected by the Op were able to unwind.

Byron

Worlds Most Northern Barber

Byron of All Trades

To say that doing an approximately 14-month stint in Alert takes a special kind of person is an understatement to say the least. If I weren't in a unique position where I frequently take road-trips to the lab and various other places around the station via the track-truck, I could potentially spend almost the entire tour couped up inside a complex which could be walked end to end in minutes. Needless to say, for the track-truck and track-truck-less alike, you need to find outlets for your time.


It didn't take long for me to get in the swing of things upon my arrival to Alert as I was Facebook-stalked weeks prior to landing here and given more than a hearty welcome on my first day which happened to fall on TGIF. After recovering from that debacle I was quickly taking part in sports activities, going on hikes and trying my hand at the daily events.

It quickly dawned on me after that first night at the bar how potentially expensive this tour could be in spite of the fact that beers cost a whopping $2.50. It was for that reason I approached our then Tradie, Karl to get a bartending job. One night, during our Alert Idol themed TGIF, I thought it would be a good idea to get dressed up and provide the audience with my rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody while also working the bar addressing everyone as sir or miss. Despite getting cut-off mid-song for time constraints and thus ruining my mid-song plan to take the tie off when I "just gotta get right outta here!", the night was enjoyable and a sign of good times to come while bartending.


With bartending only occupying my evenings about 4 or 5 nights a month, I still had plenty of time to kill on useless endeavours. One such project was a GAW-thic Plink game that Graham, my co-op student at the time, and myself dreamed up to use as a new bar game while bartending during the Medieval Times themed TGIF. Although quickly labeled as a drinking game and thus outlawed, our game was still a very capable rain-maker.

Once Bruce, the old trash-man and barber departed Alert I had the opportunity to take over the barber shop. I opted instead to allow Myriam, a girl and thus infinitely more qualified hair-stylist, to take over the shop. After she had departed Alert and some time had gone by with no volunteers I decided to take up the job with my only prior experience even remotely similar being landscaping a lawn, a far more forgiving canvas. For about 5 months now I've been the resident barber and seeing as I've had some pleased return customers I think I've done pretty well for myself. For the customers who leave my shop less than satisfied I tell them the old saying. The difference between an Alert haircut and a good haircut is 3 weeks.

If having two part-time jobs in addition to my full-time job at the GAW lab wasn't enough, I had always wanted to be a member of the volunteer fire-fighting team in Alert. However, since I'm at the lab at least three days a week the previous Bandit (the second in command to Smokey, the actual trained fire-fighters on the station) thought it was unacceptable as I would be unable to respond to alarms which are typically training excercises. With the arrival of the new Bandit, Neil, came a far more practical approach to the situation: fires most commonly occur at night, the Fire Team needs all the volunteers it can get and training can always be switched to a different day of the week. With that I was able to partially fulfill a childhood fantasy by becoming a proud member of the Alert Fire Department.

Given my involvement in sports activities on the station and my history of participation in organized sports it was only a matter of time before I would be recognized as the Station's Sports Representative in the Mess Committee. Before a position can be obtained one must be nominated and then the nominees voted on. In the past when I had expressed an interest in becoming the sports rep there had been others interested and so I graciously declined allowing others to run unopposed. In March I decided to put an end to the somewhat disappointing line of organized sporting events by accepting my nomination as Sports Rep.

Unfortunately my timing of becoming the Sports Rep wasn't the best as a few weeks after I accepted the position Operation Nunalivut was slated to take place here in Alert. What this would mean is hundreds of additional people on station with not enough living quarters to accomodate them all thus the gym being converted into a two-star hostel. Before the Op started however, I was able to organize a very successful Badminton tournament which saw a total of 9 teams compete in a round robin tournament. Competitors were enthusiastic and the tournament went off without a hitch, thanks largely to having the prescence of mind to come up with a schedule for all teams participating. What that resulted in was a tournament with almost twice as many teams as the previous Badminton tournament lasting half as long and with unambiguous results.

Next up? It is slated that people from the Op will be available to participate in outdoor activities April 21 and hopefully the resident military personnel on station will be given the afternoon off as well to allow for an Alert vs. Op Nunalivut competition. Although not officially announced as of yet the plan is an afternoon game of ultimate frisbee and soccer followed by an evening game of ice hockey, all in the splendor of the snowy, sunny outdoors.

I'll keep you posted!


Byron
Arctic adventurer extraordinaire