Byron's Arctic Adventure

End of Oppy, Lets Get Sloppy!

2010-05-09T07:04:00.006-04:00

This past Friday saw the official end to Operation Nunalivut here in Alert which had ballooned station residency numbers to the metropolistic size of 250. Not knowing exactly what the goals of the Op were nor caring much about them, I'll instead go over what it meant to us local yolkels. As residence quarters were maximized inside the station, a large number of cots were set up in the gym preventing its use for our usual 3 games of floor hockey a week, restricting our use of the weight room to 8 AM to 8 PM and filling the gym with an odour one can only describe as "wtf is that smell?".

As the station barber I saw a dramatic increase in demand for haircuts with line ups forming before I even opened the shop. This would become problematic as my habit of not waking up until someone phones me to open the shop on Sunday would soon catch up with me.

The operation also presented an opportunity to create some friendly rivalry between locals and personnel from the Op via sporting activities. Originally I had planned to organize several activities spread throughout the month pinning Alert vs. Op Nunalivut. However, once everyone had landed and we were able to get in touch with Op command, we were told they would be available for only 1 day out of the month for activities. Making the most of a bad situation, the MP designated the Sports Rep for the Op and myself came up with some activities to fill the afternoon.

First up, were the Inuit Games. Led by an Inuit Ranger from the Op and assisted by some of the local Inuit boys on station, Alert and Op contestants were pitted against each other in feats of strength and flexibility including finger pull, arm pull and high kick. In all events it appeared as though it would be no contest for Team Alert as we dominated the Op in each activity with our local champion Jamie winning the all-Alert final rounds.

Next was the Alert Puzzle Race. Teams of 2 were given 5 locations throughout the station where a group of letters could be found. The goal was to obtain these letters from all locations and then meet in the Wolfs Den to solve the puzzle by re-arranging the letters into a word which is the same in both French and English. Along with Sabrina, I raced to each location and grabbed the letters, putting my Scrabble skills to use as I saw each new letter. Unfortunately, it was a requirement that both partners be present at the Wolfs Den before the puzzle could be solved. As Sabrina's leg span and smoke-riddled lungs were no match for my own I found myself in the room with 2 other teams, puzzle already solved in my head, waiting for her to arrive. Just in the knick of time, when it appeared as though another team would solve the puzzle, Sabrina arrived and I quickly laid out the letters forming the word "PERFORMANCE". This gave Team Alert its second victory in as many activities over Team Op.

Next up was an impromptu game of soccer as conditions proved a little too windy for the scheduled match of Ultimate (wikipedia informed me that it is no longer called ultimate frisbee due to legal issues raised by the Frisbee company...who knew?). Things started off well for team Alert, jumping off to a quick 3 nothing lead in the first half. However Team Op would bounce back with 3 goals of their own followed by an exchange of goals in the final minutes of the game. With seconds left in extra time I was the perpetrator of a devasting own goal while attempting a clear attempt in the slick snow, resulting in a 5 to 4 come from behind victory for Team Op.

After dinner was the marquee event of the day, a snow hockey game outside where we had played soccer earlier. Looking to add some pizazz to the event, I recruited Dave and Justin to aid me in using food colouring to paint hockey lines. Like the best laid plans of mice and men, however, this plan went awry as shortly after the lines were completed it started to snow. By the time it was game-time snow had completely covered all markings thus proving my efforts futile. Despite the wasted time in preparation the game was a success with Team Alert taking game 1 and team Op taking the second. Due to unanimous exhaustion and time restraints before the final activity of the day, the match was declared a draw.

The final event was the weekly Pool tournament, open to members of the operation. In my exhausted state I saw to it that I was quickly eliminated in the tournament and returned to my room for an early rest. I'm not sure who ended up winning to be honest. In any case the activities were well received and the most was made of a limited time-frame.

Another bright spot of the Op was the arrival of the Danish Snow Dog team, an elite group of military personnel from the Netherlands tasked with maintaining the sovereignty of Greenland. Unlike the comfy operation which we have here in Alert this team of 16 goes on 2 year tours at a time travelling by dog-sled in teams of 2 with the goal of visiting all outposts placed along the eastern coast, each one being visited once every 5 to 10 years.

The dogs made for terriffic company as many members of the station paid them a visit at their luxurious quarters outside the station in the bitter cold. After feeling how thick the fur of the dogs was it came as little surprise that they were able to withstand the brutal climate of the Arctic.

As I mentioned earlier the Op finally came to an end this past Friday and to celebrate we organized a Pyjama Party-themed TGIF. Activities at the momentous occassion included Slipper Toss, Feed the CO, Bathroom Relay and of course, Pin the Kokanee on the SWO. Needless to say good times were had by all as members of the station heavily affected by the Op were able to unwind.

Byron

Worlds Most Northern Barber

Byron of All Trades

2010-04-13T21:58:00.000-04:00

To say that doing an approximately 14-month stint in Alert takes a special kind of person is an understatement to say the least. If I weren't in a unique position where I frequently take road-trips to the lab and various other places around the station via the track-truck, I could potentially spend almost the entire tour couped up inside a complex which could be walked end to end in minutes. Needless to say, for the track-truck and track-truck-less alike, you need to find outlets for your time.

It didn't take long for me to get in the swing of things upon my arrival to Alert as I was Facebook-stalked weeks prior to landing here and given more than a hearty welcome on my first day which happened to fall on TGIF. After recovering from that debacle I was quickly taking part in sports activities, going on hikes and trying my hand at the daily events.

It quickly dawned on me after that first night at the bar how potentially expensive this tour could be in spite of the fact that beers cost a whopping $2.50. It was for that reason I approached our then Tradie, Karl to get a bartending job. One night, during our Alert Idol themed TGIF, I thought it would be a good idea to get dressed up and provide the audience with my rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody while also working the bar addressing everyone as sir or miss. Despite getting cut-off mid-song for time constraints and thus ruining my mid-song plan to take the tie off when I "just gotta get right outta here!", the night was enjoyable and a sign of good times to come while bartending.

With bartending only occupying my evenings about 4 or 5 nights a month, I still had plenty of time to kill on useless endeavours. One such project was a GAW-thic Plink game that Graham, my co-op student at the time, and myself dreamed up to use as a new bar game while bartending during the Medieval Times themed TGIF. Although quickly labeled as a drinking game and thus outlawed, our game was still a very capable rain-maker.

Once Bruce, the old trash-man and barber departed Alert I had the opportunity to take over the barber shop. I opted instead to allow Myriam, a girl and thus infinitely more qualified hair-stylist, to take over the shop. After she had departed Alert and some time had gone by with no volunteers I decided to take up the job with my only prior experience even remotely similar being landscaping a lawn, a far more forgiving canvas. For about 5 months now I've been the resident barber and seeing as I've had some pleased return customers I think I've done pretty well for myself. For the customers who leave my shop less than satisfied I tell them the old saying. The difference between an Alert haircut and a good haircut is 3 weeks.

If having two part-time jobs in addition to my full-time job at the GAW lab wasn't enough, I had always wanted to be a member of the volunteer fire-fighting team in Alert. However, since I'm at the lab at least three days a week the previous Bandit (the second in command to Smokey, the actual trained fire-fighters on the station) thought it was unacceptable as I would be unable to respond to alarms which are typically training excercises. With the arrival of the new Bandit, Neil, came a far more practical approach to the situation: fires most commonly occur at night, the Fire Team needs all the volunteers it can get and training can always be switched to a different day of the week. With that I was able to partially fulfill a childhood fantasy by becoming a proud member of the Alert Fire Department.

Given my involvement in sports activities on the station and my history of participation in organized sports it was only a matter of time before I would be recognized as the Station's Sports Representative in the Mess Committee. Before a position can be obtained one must be nominated and then the nominees voted on. In the past when I had expressed an interest in becoming the sports rep there had been others interested and so I graciously declined allowing others to run unopposed. In March I decided to put an end to the somewhat disappointing line of organized sporting events by accepting my nomination as Sports Rep.

Unfortunately my timing of becoming the Sports Rep wasn't the best as a few weeks after I accepted the position Operation Nunalivut was slated to take place here in Alert. What this would mean is hundreds of additional people on station with not enough living quarters to accomodate them all thus the gym being converted into a two-star hostel. Before the Op started however, I was able to organize a very successful Badminton tournament which saw a total of 9 teams compete in a round robin tournament. Competitors were enthusiastic and the tournament went off without a hitch, thanks largely to having the prescence of mind to come up with a schedule for all teams participating. What that resulted in was a tournament with almost twice as many teams as the previous Badminton tournament lasting half as long and with unambiguous results.

Next up? It is slated that people from the Op will be available to participate in outdoor activities April 21 and hopefully the resident military personnel on station will be given the afternoon off as well to allow for an Alert vs. Op Nunalivut competition. Although not officially announced as of yet the plan is an afternoon game of ultimate frisbee and soccer followed by an evening game of ice hockey, all in the splendor of the snowy, sunny outdoors.

I'll keep you posted!

Byron
Arctic adventurer extraordinaire

Vacation! (In Toronto...)

2010-03-12T14:08:00.003-05:00

Although not technically an Arctic adventure, I couldn't go without mentioning my enjoyable yet far too brief vacation back to the exciting lands of Toronto!

It started out with a delightful 8 hour plane trip first from Alert to Resolute Bay, then from Resolute Bay to Iqaluit followed by Iqaluit to Trenton. Then, in my sleep-deprived state, anxious to catch the taxi which would take me to the Howard Johnson Inn and the 3 AM bus to Toronto, I left the AMU (Military airport in Trenton - acronym to be deciphered at a later date) without my checked luggage. Two taxi rides later with the same cab driver kind enough to stop at Tim Hortons for some bagels and french vanilla, I was back at the HoJo in time to catch the bus. When I reached Pearson airport a couple hours later it took a few rings but eventually Pops came and picked me up and after 6 months in the Arctic I was finally home again.

The first few days back were uneventful although still enjoyable, after all that's what vacation is for. Between loafing sessions I did manage to get my passport renewed, hangout with the bros and go for drinks with friends, low-key stuff before my birthday. In preparation for said day, I booked a few condo suites at Blue Mountain and rounded up a dozen people to occupy them for what was sure to be an awesome weekend.

Despite a few hiccups in getting Andrew and Lucas here from BC, the weekend came and off set Chris, Dave and myself to break in the condo Friday night. That day, after a few wrong turns, I learned the importance of having a good co-pilot (no offence Dave!). What he lacks in navigational ability he more than makes up for in Magical card ability though as he handed Chris and I a beat down in a draft that night. Before that, the three of us met up with Irene who was fortunate enough to tag along a university snowboarding trip and the four of us hit the slopes for some boarding goodness.

The next day we were joined by James, Fran and Crystal, then later by Andrew, Pete, Vicram and Holly. While Chris, Dave and Crystal stuck around the condos to enjoy the amenities, the rest of us hit the slopes and enjoyed perfect conditions (had there been fresh snow). Unfortunately after only a couple of runs Andrew's method of spinning around and falling on his knees made him an early exit from the hills. The real fun, however, was later that night when Andy and Stefania arrived at Blue and we began to play various games whilst enjoying beverages. First the crew was split in half with one group playing the exciting yet time consuming Battlestar Galactica boardgame, the other, joined by myself, playing Kings, Horse Races and a few other games. We then decided to all play a make-shift game of Taboo where everyone writes down six names (any names at all) and places them in a hat (or in this case a collander), and then we pair up and get a couple minutes to get our partner to say as many of the names we draw from the hat as possible. Needless to say this game got very loud and exciting and, not surprisingly, precipitated a visit from Blue's condo staff asking if we could please keep the noise down. Although we tried our best, there is no way it got much quieter that evening and throughout the night I was half-expecting another knock at the door but fortunately it never came. We enjoyed ourselves into the wee hours of the night at which point we split up into our respective rooms and beds and called it a night.

Sunday morning we woke in rough and tired shape, went our separate ways and this time with Andrew the driver and myself the wingman, we got back to Toronto without a hitch.

When we arrived back in Etobicoke on Sunday the house was empty much to our (the 4 Felske boys') surprise. After a quick chat with Mom on the phone we discovered that my nephew, Andrew's son, Lucas, along with cars loads of other kids, and parents and grandparents would be gracing our home in a matter of minutes. Looking to avoid a confrontation with a house full of people after a long weekend, we quickly ducked out of the house and proceeded to Chris and Irene's place for some Magic cards, movies and Turkish pizza (yum!). Later that evening, after we had been assured the crowd had died down, David, Andrew and myself returned home where I was greeted with a big hug from Lucas before he went off to play with the few other kids remaining at the house. Before long it was time for all the boys to pass out.

Over the next little while of my vacation a lot of time was spent with Andrew and Lucas after I had the bright idea of getting a CityPass. First on our agenda was a visit to the Royal Ontario Museum.

After not having been to the ROM for several years I was shocked by the number of renovations which had been done. Overall I was pleased with the new layout of exhibits and my spirits were high until we reached the much-anticipated bat-cave which was under renovation. Fortunately, 60,000,000 years after their demise, the dinosaur bones were around and still a ROM favourite for myself, Andrew and Lucas.

Although he appears very well behaved, Lucas gave the elderly volunteer tour-guide more than a hard time while she was trying to explain to us the different features of the bones

Next on the agenda was our trip to the CN Tower. While I had gone several times in the last few years Andrew hadn't been since he was a young'un. Although Andrew was a bit afraid to traverse the glass floor, Lucas had no problem with it!

Lastly, our trio took a trip to the Toronto Zoo. Even though it was the dead of winter and two hours before close, we had a great speed-visit and managed to see some cool stuff.

The animals which were on display were definitely excited to have some visitors.

Overall, the vacation was a success but after all that time spent with the Energizer-Lucas, I was pleased to find myself back on my way to Alert.

Byron

Arctic Adventurer Extraordinaire

It's an Alert Christmas!

2009-12-25T00:35:00.001-05:00

When celebrating Christmas in Alert, dreaming of a white Christmas is somewhat redundant. This year, like every other year, the snow was plentiful, the halls were decked and the spirit of the season took hold of (most) everyone on station.

In the GAW office, we added our own brand of Christmas cheer via hand-me-down decorations from years past. Though it wasn't much to look at it didn't keep us from getting in the holiday spirit.

In addition to the opening of gifts generously donated by individuals and organizations on Christmas day, this year it was decided that a holiday parade would be run. Each 'house' was to construct a float which would be propelled down the main linkway much to the delight of the few passers-by on station not also involved in the propulsion of floats.

From trains bearing gifts, to elaborate light-show igloos to the Alert-famous 'Alert Darlings float', the parade was a huge success.

Once judging was complete the winner of the parade competition was the float representing the kitchen staff (above) with the musical stylings/lack-lustre float of the Alert Darlings placing 2nd.

Although far from a traditional Christmas celebration, I enjoyed the festivities and could not have asked for a better group of individuals with which to be spending the holidays.

Byron
Lead Vocals 'The Alert Darlings'

Ice to See You, Fishies!

2009-12-11T19:42:00.006-05:00

Through a unique blend of free-time and guilt (thank you family + friends for that) I've finally decided to update and reflect upon (to the best of my abilities) events from my Arctic adventure prior to my vacation in mid-January.

If you are among my expansive blog followers, a staggering almost double-digit amount, you would know that sometime in December I posted a couple of photos of an ice-fishing trip I took at some point in time in November (or December...so there is a reason why blogs are updated daily!). At that time, whichever it was, I was, or was pretending to be, too busy to enlighten you all with my literary musings to accompany them. So without further adieu, here's a brief blurb about said trip:

It was scheduled for a dark, cold and snowy Sunday in November/December (I'll have to look into this, it's getting old) and originally I wasn't planning on attending. However, as fate would have it, I awoke from my slumber by a light rapping on my door from Graham, reminding me that we would be departing for the hut shortly. After contemplating another lazy Sunday spent under covers with nothing to show for it but bed-head and grins of passers-by knowing I had slept all day, I decided to get geared up for the trip.

Like many Alert trips off the station we begun by loading ourselves into BVs and then made a stop at the maintenance building to pick up the generator and auger. After a stomach-churning half-hour or so riding in the bumpy-vehicle (my take on BV), we arrived at the ice-hut which had been dragged out to the frozen lake beforehand. Next, it was time for the generator to be hooked up and started so that light could be provided. As usual, with my brand new Arctic parka, I was more than eager to lend a hand.

After ensuring that the big dipper was, in fact, still among the other constellations present in the night sky, I decided to see how phase 2, auguring the ice holes, was going.

As I suspected from my previous experience auguring very tough clay-filled Ontario soil, the job was relatively easy going. Still, I thought it be best I record this endeavour rather than partake in the unlikely event that we propagated a crack in the ice, sending us to our icy cold graves in the depths of (something something) lake (more fact-checking obviously needs to be done!).

After the first couple of holes were drilled without even the slightest hint of danger, I decided my efforts would be better appropriated chucking snowballs at unsuspecting victims. When the bulky coats of my would be 'victims' proved too great a source of defence, I employed Graham to assist me in capturing dramatic action shots such as the one you see here.

Before long the holes were drilled and ice-hut warmed up via it's sophisticated carbon combustion chamber (aka wood stove).

With the combination of patrons' nicotine addictions and the wood stove, it wasn't long before I felt as though I was in a good old fashioned bar, pre-smoking-bylaw.

Once we were all settled next to our holes we begun stringing our lines, connecting our leaders, attaching make-shift weights and in some cases, connecting glow sticks (the legality of which is under review). The next step to was bait our hooks and the bait of choice...bacon?! After an hour or so of no success I began to question the mastermind behind the choice of bait but before I could make a smart ass comment Dan, one of the head mechanics on station, caught a squirmy little Arctic Char which Graham was able to brilliantly capture in motion.

As this fish, like the majority caught afterwards, was not even meaty enough for a single fish-stick it was released back into the lake shortly afterwards. Not long after the initial fish was caught a number of people were catching fish, including Graham's prize-winner.

The next catch is subject to debate. One of the transient military personnel left the hut to take a leak and while gone his line began to twitch. With cat-like reflexes I took his pole and reeled in what was seeming to be a much stronger fish than those we had been dealing with until that point. Sure enough, once I pulled him out of the water he was a decent size for back home, and a monster of a fish for the oft-fished lakes of Alert.

Just as I was pulling the fish out of the water the absent fisherman returned and was immediately informed I had stolen his catch. He was more than fine about it admitting that I had done all the work, however those in competition with me, Graham included, insisted an asterisk be put next to my tally of fish caught. The debate, however unjustified as it may be, was soon cut short as the removal of the hook from my fish was proving exceedingly difficult. Unfortunately it turned out the fish had swallowed the hook and so this would not be one which could be thrown back. Fortunately he was large enough to be cooked and you can rest assured that it did not go to waste.

As this is the first in a series of 'blogs from the past' to be updated, you can look forward to a lot more sooner rather than later.

Byron
The Young Man and the Lake

Olympic History is Made in Alert

2009-11-22T15:49:00.017-05:00

Sunday November 8th saw Olympic history being made as the Olympic Torch arrived in Alert, Nunavut, the northern-most permanently occupied settlement on the planet, and the furthest north the iconic flame has ever been.

As a member of the Olympic Torch Planning Committee, I was slated with the daunting task of constructing a temporary stage in the gymnasium for "community" celebrations to take place as the Olympic Torch was being carried from the runway to the station. Making the task even more challenging was the fact that a month prior to the torch's arrival, construction was being done on the carpentry shop, effectively restricting my access and the station carpenter, Chipper, was on leave until 2 days before the torch was scheduled to arrive. Needless to say, the last 2 weeks leading up to the OTR were hectic with virtually every free hour of mine being allocated to constructing a stage which (fingers crossed) would not collapse while on live television!

In addition to station-wide Olympic-themed sporting events, teams were tasked with constructing snow sculptures to show off the spirit in Alert and assist in propelling your team to Olympic gold. My team, Quatchi (named after the Sasquatch Olympic mascot), constructed a statue of our namesake playing his favourite sport, hockey.

As impressive as I thought our sculpture was, the winning sculpture blew ours out of the water as you'll see. The mastermind Gilbert obviously had some formal training in snow sculpting so I'll forever have an asterisk beside this amateur event.

Finally the day came, Saturday November 7th, when I was finished construction on the stage. The completion, however, didn't come without a price, one left thumbnail to be exact.

Despite my ruined movie-rating-tools, I still managed to practice biweekly with the choir leading up to that day, over a month of preparation for a just over 3 minute performance.

One sleep later and the moment had finally arrived, the Olympic Flame was officially in Alert, and within an hour of the Vancouver Olympic Committee's plane landing, the torch was making its trip up the runway to the station while the remainder of the station and reporters partook in the community celebrations in the gym.

Unfortunately, as 22 of the stations 50-odd personnel were running the torch, and many other assisting with lighting and other tasks, the "community" was a little sparse. In spite of this, the community celebrations including the Inuit Games went off without a hitch and were enjoyed by all present.
First on the agenda was a brief history lesson of the station accompanied by a PowerPoint presentation including photos as old as 50 years showing much tougher arctic expedition patrons sporting shorts and t-shirts playing field hockey outside. Then the spotlight was turned to some of the local Inuit contingent participating with other members of the station, including myself, in traditional Inuit games. The first game, the arm pull, was a bit of a mismatch for myself as I outweighed everyone in the competition easily by 100lbs. The setup of the game was to interlock arms with your opponent and hold down each others feet as you try and pull your opponent toward you and touch your back to the ground first.

Following this was the Kick the Fish, or High Kick competition, where traditionally a fish or bone is suspended from a string and each contestant is given 3 tries to kick the fish and land on the same foot with which they kick the object, combining both athleticism and balance. Again having almost a foot extra in reach I was at a distinct advantage but Paul was awesome in keeping up to what was eventually declared (due to time constraints) a draw.

Once the celebrations were over, we got on our arctic gear and awaited the torchbearers and the arrival of the torch at the cauldron. Of course this could not be done without first a reminder from the corporate sponsors of Coke and RBC of their commitment to Canada's Olympic dreams throughout the ages and how proud everyone should be of their country (I trailed off mid-speech as I got thirsty and was thinking about setting up an interest free savings account).

At last the torch arrived and the very modern cauldron was lit much to the enjoyment of the throng of 70+ people gathered under the arctic stars.

This was followed by some antics by the lovable mascot Quatchi, lots of photos and a couple more speeches.

Then, rather anticlimactically, everyone was brought back inside for the awe-inspiring performance by the largest per-capita choir in Canada, and a few more (extremely unorganized) speeches.

Finally, the cauldron was extinguished and a celebratory fireworks display performed to a rapidly dwindling audience rushing to get back inside to regain the feeling in their hands and feet.And so Olympic history was made, and the OTR in Alert was finally history! For the first time in weeks I was able to sit down and talk during meals, watch an episode of Chuck and even go to the gym! Next up, Remembrance day!

Byron

Cette flame, ce phare boreal!

Byron the Constructicon!

2009-11-01T00:21:00.006-04:00

So it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I err toward the creative side of things. My upbringing of constructing fantastic LEGO cars and racing them down the stairs, countless hours and even more dollars spent on constructing elaborate Warhammer figurines and painting models. But I'll have to respectfully say that I've outdone myself this year with the creation of my Decepticon Transformer Haloween costume! I know that I had said that my next post would cover the daily operations at the GAW Lab, but I figured that it being Haloween, a post was way overdue, and my fondness of all things nerdy (umm actually labs sound pretty geeky too), I figured I'd give a spook-tacularly brief update.

First things first, yes I did in fact construct a transformer costume, and yes it did win me 1st prize in the haloween costume contest (good for 75$ at Ye Olde Trading Post). I tried to make my entrance into the Arctic Club (aka the bar) as inconspicuous as possible, however, when you're wearing a costume which is over 6 feet by 4 feet, you tend to draw a bit of attention. Even moreso when your costume is a kick-ass decepticon!

As cool as I look as a robot, the serious applause and admiration came once I busted out my transformation (mind you, being a 2-day project I was only good for 1 transform....I was low on energon cubes!)

Needless to say, it was not the most mobile of costumes. In fact I spent about 12 hours building this pain in the ass costume only to transform once and take it off a mere 20 minutes later!

Those of you more versed in the Transformers universe will realize that my costume is in fact, not a Constructicon, however, seeing as this week this costume was just one building project in addition to a portion of the stage I'm building for the Olympic Torch Relay in Alert happening Nov 8-9, as well as constructing a winterization cover for the Dual Optical Absorption Spectrometer (DOAS) telescope at the lab (about which you'll learn more in my next post), I figured I deserved the Constructicon title.

Other news, various television stations, including CTV have shown interest in Alert for the upcoming Olympic Torch Relay, with a successful telephone interview already being performed, and another unsuccessful live Satellite feed being (unsuccessful in the sense that Roel (my neighbour) was prepped for an interview, and shut down internet connections throughout the station to save bandwidth, only to be cut from the show due to a lack of time). The consensus is that more news coverage is definitely to follow.

Aside from that, the population is slowly dwindling as temporary staff is leaving and only the hard core darkness full-timers remain. Speaking of which, it is now officially the dark season, a little more difficult to deal with than the light season. Driving to the lab has become a much more accident prone task (not that I drive often, as I am more than comfortable having Graham, my co-op student track-truck it up daily). While I'm on that topic, Graham and I received a welcome present over boxtop, a nearly $100,000 Ford F-250 (after shipping), a brown truck which I named Brown Betty, after what I think is a line to a Kings of Leon song, but I may be mistaken.

Anyway, within a few minutes of getting that truck from Maintainance, the steering fluid line blew open on me, draining all of our fluid and leaving me with no option other than driving straight or stopping. Had this been a one time occurence I might not have even mentioned it to the powers that be in Toronto. However, after another blown line just after we arrived at the old Transmitter site before the lab, cause for concern was definitely there.

On the upside, it appears as though the truck is working fine now as we've been driving for a couple weeks without incident. Not only that, but we have been able to pick up radio stations on clear days from Germany, the Netherlands, Japan and Barrow Alaska (as far as we can tell). It's quite an amazing feeling to pick up an AM radio station playing the Beatles while in Alert!

Sidenotes: Amazing Race Alert was held earlier this month, with Team Myriam and Byron taking a disappointing 4th place of 7 teams.

Later this month the Alert Sports Challenge took place, with an even more disappointing outcome for myself. Not being able to hit a 3-point shot when you play as much basketball as I do is more than a little sad.

Also this month (possibly late September) was Canadian Idol Alert, with the fan favourite but not necessarily most talented vocalist, Olivier Beaudry, taking the crown.

Other than that it has been business as usual in Alert. Steak wednesdays and junkfood Fridays.

I will continue to anxiously await Rockband from the family back home as they take advantage of Canada Post's free shipping to military postings!

The next post will be a long one so brace for impact!

Byron
"use the matrix to light our darkest hour"

Boxtop 4-1-1

2009-09-06T23:40:00.003-04:00

So I've been desperately trying to come up with a new post over the last little while, but without really trying. Translation, looking for that one event or one trip where enough happens or I get enough cool pictures that the post can pretty much write itself with little to no original thought. Being in somewhat of a drought, excursion-wise, and busy being the only person working at the GAW lab these days, I figured I'd see what I could get by with for now.

So for all you non Alertians out there every 6 months or so a massive operation occurs here known as Box-top where outside personnel are recruited to aid in the provision of the station with all the essentials like crates of beer, potato chips and toilet paper. This year, Environment Canada has had an exceptionally large amount of crates coming in, 69 to be exact, the majority of which are components in preparation of the installation of a new tower at the GAW Lab.

Needless to say for the last couple weeks it has been more than a little hectic, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the extra company on the station (especially when it comes to their bar patronnage). That is all about to wind down and things about to go back to normal (well as normal as they get in Alert) once boxtop officially comes to a close and the visiting crews depart come Friday morning.

With that inevidably comes more work for myself and all present at the GAW Lab however, as we convince members of Transport to haul crates up to the lab.

On that note, I seem to have exhausted the mental capacity to continue any further in this post so I will post it as is.

Next on the chopping block I hope to provide a better idea of what exactly goes on at the GAW Lab and a look into the now snow-filled workplace.

Byron
the smartest lemming on the block...of ice

Caribou-nanza!

2009-08-22T15:55:00.011-04:00

Well, it's been the longest amount of time yet since the last post so I thought it would be only fitting to cram as much information into it as I possibly can. The events probably go back to even before my last post, unfortunately I don't have media to accompany all of my stories but there are still some great shots. "Let's Begin!" (that's an inside joke to anyone at Alert who plays BINGO listening to that recorded voice haha)

Let's see, in the past few weeks I have won a station-wide limbo contest at the beach party (a feat considering I'm 6'3), won the gold medal in the Alert Volleyball Tournament (not as much of a feat, but good news nonetheless lol) and successfully completed the Polar Bear dip in water which is below 0 degrees, thanks to its saltiness! Not shown here are the medals I won for my victories and the bright orange shirt awarded for completing the dip.

Intermittent between those 3 events were a number of other activities including bowling, basketball, gym, work, bar-tending etc. but I'd rather have killer than filler.

Which brings me to my next animal sighting, a musk-ox! The other day while on break at the lab I peered out the window and said to myself, I could have sworn that big dark rock was in another place the last time I checked. Sure enough after staring at the 'rock' for a few seconds it started to move, at which point I yelled to my co-workers at the lab, "Musk-ox!" We were maybe able to get within about 300 metres of him before he got spooked and started to take off, but still got some fairly visible shots.

After the rare viewing of the musk-ox I thought that nothing shy of a polar bear encounter could top it but then came my trip up Caribou Road along one of the mountain ranges. I shook off getting woken up at 8 in the morning for a work-related-but-not-really call, ate breakfast and headed on out to the BV.

The majority of the trip took place riding BVs (I made it my mission to get a shotgun seat this time when riding) so it wasn't too strenuous. However, once we found ourselves at the base of the mountain range amidst fog and icy cold winds, the trip, although short, became challenging enough. After great difficulty and many near slips we at last conquered the hill and briefly explored the range as frost from the winds started to form on our hair and jackets.

At this point some individuals decided to search for crystals, with little luck, while others explored the range, seeing if perhaps there were more peaks to scale. After about 10 minutes we had all had quite enough of the freezing cold and decided to head back down the mountain. This was by far the most fun of the trip as the loose shale rocks made for an extremely fast and potentially dangerous slide down.

Once back at the base of the mountain we decided we might as well walk further along the road and as we hit the end we came across an inukshuk which had been built by previous explorers, or possibly a freak windstorm I guess.

Normally I lose interest in staring in rocks after a very short amount of time however, we were fortunate enough to notice a caribou off in the distance as we were taking pictures of the inukshuk. We slowly crept up on the caribou, very carefully as he would dart his head in our direction when someone would make a noise.

Eventually the crowd, making too much noise trying to get as close as me, scared the caribou off and I caught him running away.

After the wildlife excitement it was once again time to depart and we loaded ourselves up in the BV and called it a day. Although the trip was abbreviated, thanks to the caribou sighting, it was considered well worth it.

Next time on BAA: I dunno, do I look like I have ESP to you?

Byron
Seal you later

Colon Bay and Crystal Mountain - Giddyup!

2009-08-09T18:46:00.012-04:00

I've been in Alert for about a month now and I've witnessed people coming and going as their tours of duty finish or as they take leaves of absence. Each time a person I know leaves or a new person arrives I find myself thinking about when my time will come. After speaking with several people mentioning how their "long" terms will be done in September, October...I find it's best to not think about that. What I am reminded of, however, is that the summertime here is short so I've been trying to take advantage of the sunlight before I wake up and find myself in the middle of a bad Vin Diesel movie!

Such was the reasoning behind my excursion to Colon Bay (named for it's similarity to the anatomy of the anus) last weekend. The hiking trip involved lots of careful footwork over pointy rocks and unexpectedly mushy ground, but overall was quite enjoyable. While on the way I spotted another arctic flower, one which I imagine is very tasty to the arctic hare, which resembles those cinammon mints you'll get at restaurants.

A little further along the trail (and at several spots inbetween) we had to traverse across ice-cold rivers balancing on wobbly rocks. One river in particular we came across was obviously at a much lower water level than is normal and quite awe inspiring to imagine the rush of water when full.

It wasn't long after trekking through the valley of the river that we came upon some wildlife, a noisy Yagger, either indicating it was preparing to divebomb us or simply get the attention of his chums to look at the funny creatures without wings on the ground.

After a good two or three hours we at last arrived at Colon Bay. It was then I made the distinction between sea water and lake water. The blue in the glaciers from the sea is much lighter and richer than the freshwater ice formations, possibly as a result of the salt crystalization. I was the only one to venture right out to the edge of the Bay and look out upon the sea. Whether it was because of a shared desire to get started on the trek back or stay alive through the avoidance of polar bear maulings, is unclear to me. All I know is I wasn't (un)fortunate enough to see any polar bears while at the bay and just missed a seal dipping it's head back under the water.

After seeing enough of the landscape and skipping a few stones we picked up the pace to make it back to the station in time for dinner, forgetting exactly where and how we crossed the river along the way. Just as we were getting close to the entrance of the station a pack of local wolves paid us a visit, one which surprised me far more than the veterans with whom I had been hiking.

After what I considered to be a successful hiking trip I opted to partake in another a little later in the week and see if I would again be fortuitous. This time the trip was to a popular destination here in Alert, Crystal Mountain. The name is a little deceptive, first of all it's not made of crystal, you can just find small rock crystals on occasion (or rarely in my case). Second of all, technically speaking it doesn't meet the elevation requirements of a mountain. I guess early geographers decided to go with the name because Potentially Crystal-filled Rocky Hill doesn't quite roll off the tongue as nicely.

This trip had the added fun-factor of getting to ride in a BV. BV, for you laymen(myself included no less than a week ago), stands for Bombardier Vehicle, which was originally manufactured by said company for military transport purposes of wounded soldiers etc. over difficult terrain. Although these vehicles are rarely (if at all) manufactured by Bombardier anymore, the name for them has stuck.

The ride on these vehicles over rocky terrain is bumpy to say the least. If you're not careful you can end up with your head in the ceiling or in the lap of your neighbour! Despite the bumpy ride I definitely enjoyed the novelty of the experience and was soon mastering ways in which to minimize ass-poundage while maximizing comfort. After a good hour or so of BV-ing I had just about had enough and as fortune would have it we arrived alongside Crystal Mountain, in all its glory!

As the incline of the front face of the mountain was quite steep we had to approach the top from the far side. As we started to come nearer to the mountain we noticed what we initially thought was a herd of caribou, off in the distance, along the far side. As we came closer however we realized that they were not actually off in the distance, nor were they caribou. It was a herd of arctic hare! The BV stopped and I cautiously yet hastily hiked along the mountain getting as close to the bunnies as I could. After gaining their trust that I was not a predator I was able to grab a great shot of a part of the hard and video of them chowing down and at play.

This failed attempt at a game of tag is what I found to be the most amusing of the videos I recorded. (More pictures and video of these and most of my pictures are available if an encore is requested).

After being torn away from the rabbits I continued up to the pinnacle of the mountain and began participating in the crystal-rush. After over an hour of digging an impressive hole I gave up only to come across some people who had been finding crystals in abundance merely by skimming the top layer of a section. Sure enough within minutes of grazing this spot I uncovered more than I had in all my time spent digging. Although I wasn't proud enough of any of my collections to post pictures they still were pretty neat.

All in all my trips oot and aboot the CFS station have been good times and I look forward to hopefully a few more before the sun sets for the last time in 2009.

Next time on BAA: More animals? Does this look like a Zoo to you? And whatever the *#(% else comes to mind!

Byron
keeping you iglooed to your monitors

Alert, Nunavut, Home of Canada's "Frozen Chosen"

2009-08-01T09:38:00.015-04:00

There's an old saying around here: There are three ways you can leave Alert, as a chunk, a drunk or a hunk. With pretty much all-you-can-eat buffet meals, $2.50 drinks and a great workout facility it's no surprise how that saying came to be. While resisting gourging remains a challenge substituting bar nights for gym nights has gone pretty smoothly, with an added incentive of a free t-shirt for an equivalent of 500km of exercise, I'll be keeping fit and having fun in no time!

It may come as a surprise to many people but there are actually fairly frequent flights out of Alert, usually averaging about 2 per week, with many more during busy periods.

Last week we had the honour of receiving the Chief of Air Staff of Canada, LGen Watt. I immediately took a liking to him, not only because of his uncanny resemblance to the Gretzky family, but also to his sense of humour. He made the astute observation that the station looked like something out of Mad Max, which I couldn't agree with more!

Aside from the fun and games I do actually have a job to do here in Alert and have been enjoying slowly but surely learning the details. Once I have a better grasp of exactly what is going on I'll go into greater detail but in the meantime I can go over the encounters while travelling to the GAW lab from the station.

There are a number of small fresh-water lakes situated around the station (one of the reasons for the location) from which we pump our water. Below is the pumping station I pass on a regular basis while driving to the lab.

The sightings don't stop at the landscape as I become aware of a Yagger (a type of arctic bird which is prevalent in the region, so I've been told) no more than 100 yards from the lab.

The real excitement arrives in the middle of the day when Laura (a co-op student at the lab) informs Adrienne (the current operator) and myself that she's spotted the Lemming that lives under our shed. We all run outside to investigate the situation and quite rudely startle little Laraquette who retreats under a large flat piece of shale.

My usual excited mood as a result of critter-cravin and landscape-lookin was turned more somber on July 31st as the 59th anniversary of the Lancaster crash memorial was held. The story behind the event is that in 1950 the Lancaster was making a fairly routine mail-drop to support the weather station in Alert when their navigation failed and they crashed. Later, when the station personnel attempted to extradite the deceased out of Alert there was again equipment failure and the plane was grounded, with repairs estimated to take an additional two weeks. As a result the deceased were buried on site and a memorial erected to honour them.

The ceremony was very informative and paid tribute to this and many other sacrifices like this which have made the CFS station at Alert a reality.

There's plenty more to come including more animal sightings, so set your phasers to STUN and make like the resonant frequency of a pair of parallel metallic bars joined at one end and stay tuned!

Byron

Ellesmere Island's #1 Blog Author

Look, Ma, No Trees!

2009-07-27T23:01:00.007-04:00

God only knows what was going through the mind of early explorers who first braved the dangers that the remote arctic climate has to offer. “I think I’d like to get a summer home up here” was probably uttered less than “I hope the polar bear I’m looking at now met the seal I saw earlier” which in turn was likely thought of even less than “How the $#&% can anything survive up here?!”

Although Ugg the caveman may tell you otherwise, settlements as northerly as Alert have only started to become a reality in the last half century. The Canadian Forces Station of Alert has been pieced together over that time with new additions and improvements being undertaken all the time. During the summer months (a balmy 5 degrees Celsius tells you it’s time to break out the sun-screen and enjoy the 24 hour sunlight), the CFS station can be home to in excess of 100 residents; typically around 50 during the winter months.

The station as it exists now is quite the opposite of roughing it, with a gymnasium, 2-lane 5 pin bowling alley, theatre, computer labs and all the other benefits of electricity and running water. As comfortable as it is on the inside, there definitely won’t be any awards for architectural ingenuity. The outside of the station, in my opinion, resembles a large stack of railroad boxcars, very large ones, stacked and adjoined to one another as necessity dictates.

Though the station is now for all intents and purposes, fully modern, it did not come without several hardships and tragedies along the way. There have been several planes which have crashed while navigating toward the station, some as close as 100 metres away from the existing runway.

Thanks to Alert not being involved in any outdoor city beautification projects, I was able to see the remains of two of the planes which went down between the 50s and 70s (or so I was led to believe, take this as a Wikipedia-like disclaimer as to the validity of the information contained in the blog herein).

These first three pictures were taken from the plane which crashed near the runway. According to the story they were attempting to land during unadvisable storm conditions.

A crash site amidst the station between a pair of gravel roads is the next which I visited. The story behind this plane is again poor weather and navigation equipment being down. As this plane is nowhere near the runway it gives an idea of exactly how miserable visibility can get at times up here.

Despite the susceptibility of all living things in this climate a number of life forms do manage to survive. As of this point the most I’ve seen are very small flowers and a couple of birds.

I’ve heard stories of seals, wolves and lemmings all being present as well. No sightings thus far but I’ll keep you posted.

While on my miniature hikes to the crash sites I was more interested in the landscape than any of the history or animals that might be present. As this video illustrates, walking along the shale coastline sounded (and felt I imagine) like walking on a huge pile of your grandma’s finest china. It was awesome!

I suppose no tour of living quarters, no matter how poorly written and misinformed, would be complete without a glimpse of the accommodations themselves. As I mentioned earlier, over the years living halls have been added to the station. I am currently housed in the Chimo Hall of the station. Here’s a glimpse of my already untidy abode (approximately 15’ x 15’):

Next time on BAA: A special visitor, animal sightings and more!
Same BAA time, same BAA channel!

Byron
Ice to see you!

A Trip to Trenton - On the Road to Alert

2009-07-21T22:25:00.009-04:00

After a few hours of driving east along the 401, and a couple of u-turns within the city of Trenton, I found myself at the humble Yukon Lodge. The hotel which doubles as the residence office for the military base in Trenton was quite comfortable offering amenities such as a fridge, microwave and access to the internet which is occasionally operational. None of which were much of a concern considering I arrived in Trenton at approximately 11PM and had to arrive at the nearby AMC terminal at 5AM.

Sure enough I wake up, call the local ABC taxi, pay the flat-rate $7 fare and arrive at the AMC at 5AM sharp. A couple of chocolate bars and introductions to fellow passengers flying up to Alert later, we were ready for boarding and proceeding through the security check doors.

Upon completion of the security check we were able to get a glimpse of the air-liner which would take us on our voyage. 7AM rolled along and we received word that our flight had been delayed an hour due to weather conditions. Being familiar with movies such as Alive, we were more than understanding of taking the necessary precautions. An hour rolled by and sure enough we then received word that the entire flight had been delayed for 24 hours and that a shuttle bus would transport those of us heading back to the Yukon Lodge.

After checking back in to the Yukon Lodge and a failed nap attempt I thought I may as well see what downtown Trenton had to offer. I grabbed a pamphlet from the hotel concierge and was on my way west down Dundas past RCAF road. I stopped at a local diner where they were providing a breakfast special for under $5, ka-ching! With some food in my belly I perused the pamphlet a little more and discovered that Trenton was holding a Street-Sale on that day. I decided to check it out and was there early enough to see people setting up their various stands and beat the crowd. After grabbing two pairs of shades for $15 I went to the nearby theatre, aptly name Theatre, to see when the latest Harry Potter was playing. To kill the few hours before the show I stopped at the local bookstore and picked up a couple classics to add to my "To Read List", To Kill a Mockingbird (So far so good), Moby Dick and The Catcher in the Rye. I was able to find Trenton’s surprisingly modern library and spend a few hours there, stopping to watch the occasional HERC fly by.

By noon I was ready to head back to Theatre and picked up my ticket, popcorn and a pop for the amazingly low price of $10! The movie was good but left me with that incomplete feeling that the first Lord of the Rings film did, impressed with the overall plot but wanting to see more.

I made my way to the grocery store on the way back to the Yukon Lodge, stocked up on pizza pops and juice boxes and came across Byron Street, where oddly enough the beer store is located! Next I passed by what is known as an Adult Mobile Home Park (your guess is as good as mine as to what that entails?!)

Back at the Lodge I pretty much vegetated until I could no longer keep my eyes open and repeated the wake up procedure of the previous day.

This time we were successful in our take-off attempt and on our way through a 3.5 hour flight to Iqaluit, the capital city of Nunavut. It may come as a surprise to some people but Iqaluit is actually home to a population of approximately 8000, with the entire territory of Nunavut providing residence to 50,000.

After a slight delay due once again to weather conditions we were on our way to Resolute Bay, a more modest city in northern Nunavut of approximately 800 people, a 2 hour plane trip. The flight went smoothly with a slightly scary landing, the plane appearing to almost tip after catching a gust of wind. Fortunately our pilot was skilled and able to land the plane safely.
The final 2 hour trip from Resolute Bay to Alert went off without a hitch and before we knew it we were greeted by cheering members of the station eager to welcome familiar and unfamiliar faces alike.

In the following post I'll show you around my first few days in Alert including a brief history lesson and other frozen fun. Until next time, keep fit and have fun!

Byron
your source to up north

Welcome to duesouthofsanta.blogspot.com!

2009-07-14T13:09:00.000-04:00

Hello and welcome to duesouthofsanta.blogspot.com!

If you are visiting my site, chances are you know what the story is behind it. However, for those of you who have stumbled down a rabbit hole and now find themselves in a site which they thought may contain a tasty egg-nog recipe, please allow me to explain:

As fortune would have it I recently landed a contract job working for Environment Canada...pretty awesome eh? Well there's more to it than that. My position is as the new GAW Lab Operator in Alert, Nunavut. For those of you who aren't familiar with the geography of the vast northern territories of Canada, Alert is the northern-most permanently occupied settlement on the planet (hence the due south of santa), located on the northern tip of Ellesmere island. There aren't many places where you could say that you are thinking about taking a trip south to Alaska, but Alert is one of them!

Throughout the next 14 months I hope to inform, enlighten and hopefully entertain you via the musings and stories from my work-term-adventure in this remote region of Canada. I thank you all for visiting and welcome your questions, comments and even questionable comments!

Byron
your polar bear brother from another mother